[[mood]] so close to getting pissed and breaking down !!
[[listening to]] I'll Attack by 30 Seconds from Mars

You know what ?! I have so much frickin anger pent up in me right now I'll let it all out here! This damn moment I will!!

OMFG! I'm sorry that I go out, but do you really expect me to stay at home with idiots who think that I'd be happy if you buy me stuff?! Do you think I'd be happy if you give me every fuckin items I want ?! Do you think I'd be happy with this ?! DO YOU?!

I swear!! Don't frickin tell me who're my friends and who aren't! They're my friends so I decide who are MY friends !! Just because mine aren't perfect doesn't mean that yours are!

Don't frickin compare me to my frickin damned cousins who you think are "perfect" because no one is perfect! Don't frickin compare me to Ate Kristine because she has the "perfect" life, "perfect" grades, "perfect" choices, "perfect" "perfect" "perfect"!!!

Don't think that you know me soooooo well that you can judge me !!! You don't know ANYTHING about me! So don't think about deciding my life for me because it's MY life! Just because you srewd your own life doesn't mean you can screw with mine!

Don't frickin tell me lies! Don't frickin promise me anything because I have no frickin TRUST for you anymore! Don't frickin expect that I'd come crying to you because of my problem because you've never ever helped me before! I've always had to do everything by myself! Don't think that my friends are horrible because they dont do anything for me! That's because you frickin dont know the whole story! Just because I give them things doesn't mean I should get things back! I don't frickin care if I get anything because all I care is about giving!

Don't frickin tell me that family is the most important thing! TELL ME! Have you ever been a frickin family to me?! HUH?! I don't think so! Do you ever wonder why I'm always smiling and happy with my friends but when with you guys I frickin keep my mouth shut, NEVER fuckin smile, and never want to go outside to hang with you guys ?!

NO! I don't think you guys know all of this because you never ever ask, never ever try to understand me, and never ever try to ask me for my point of view! You guys just sit around there and start talking shit about me! I SWEAR !! If I was really pissed right now, I swear I would frickin break down in front of you guys saying all this! BUT NO! You think I fuckin dont care about you?! Tell me! How is it that I try to do something that would benefit you guys, you guys never seem to notice the good things about it! How come whenever I ask for help you fuckin just turn around and ignore me or say "I DONT KNOW"?! TELL ME!

So tell me, when I went to the doctors and I was referred to the psychiatrist for my depression problem that started 7th grade, why the hell ask "why are you sad"? OMG! That was the frickin funniest thing I have ever heard in my frickin life! That's because you never seem to notice huh ?! YOU FRICKIN THINK THAT MY FRIENDS AREN'T THE BEST?! Then tell me how come they noticed that I was depressed the moment they saw me ?! HUH?! OMG!!!

Do you ever wonder why I have such a damn low self-esteem?! That's because all you do is yell at me and not ask why it happened! You guys always expect to be right! OMG! You guys never even let me voice my frickin opinion!

If you're so huffed up and pissed at me about getting home after school, THEN DONT FRICKIN CARE OR PICK ME UP! It wouldn't even make a difference!!!


*breathes* GAWD! Okii! I'm done

~ Sakura-chan

posted @ 7:32 PM